What To Do When You’re Not in the Flow

You know those times when nothing is flowing?

Everything you do doesn’t work.

Everywhere you go, you meet resistance.

Every comment you make, someone gets offended.

Everywhere it’s roadblocks, gridlock, red lights.

The other day I got a voice message from a friend who is experiencing this.

He shared that nothing in his life is working right now…and that for the past year, he feels that he is in a no-flow twilight zone.

And then, right after receiving his message, I had 36 hours of it too..

A straight day and a half where it seemed like all realms of my life,  Love, Sex and Genius, came to a grinding halt and started going into retrograde.

I lead a really bad salsa class at a busy restaurant with only two students (both of whom left early without paying)…it was so awkward.

The internet went down at a time I felt pressure to be productive.

Around town, I felt emotionally triggered by my friends.

My boyfriend and I had a funky energy between us and couldn’t figure it out

and much more.

It was exhausting.

For example, that hour-long awkward salsa class cost me so much energy in mental replays and thinking how I could have done better.

I made it worse by letting that snow-ball into seeing my whole life as a big failure right now.

Which put me in a foul energy ripe for meeting even more resistance, even less flow.

It effected my relationship. It effected my ability to work on my creative projects. It effected my well-being and energy levels.

So when the flow goes down in one area, it goes down in all areas.

It can feel like being cut-off from that magical friendly universe that you are accustomed to knowing. Like a child in utero having the umbilical cord clamped.

You think, ‘wtf is going on here?’

So, when this happened to me, I couldn’t help but hear my own words of advice that I had just spoken to my friend a few days earlier.

I could tell that he desperately wanted to be able to press a magic button to get him back into the flow with life.

I said to him, “If I were in your shoes, I wouldn’t pray to get into the flow.I would pray to see and understand what I need to see or understand that is keeping me from the flow.”

In other words, I would pray to ‘get the message’.

I would pray for illumination, insight, understanding.

They were odd words for me to say. I don’t usually talk about praying or prayer. But for some reason, I felt drawn to advise him to pray.

So, I prayed.

I meditated. I got quiet. I put things on hold. I canceled my social plans to make space and time to BE. And then I inquired about what I needed to see.

And I saw quite a bit. I saw many dirty corners of my psyche that needed to be tended to. I saw a back-log of things I needed to communicate and clear with people, that I hadn’t said.

I walked away from that introspection with quite a bit of work to do to make things right between me and the universe…one person, one task at a time. And I set out to do them. Right away.

I knew I was back in the flow shortly after that when the syncronicities and magic resumed. What a relief!

Being in the flow is a state of grace.

It cannot be forced.

We can only create the right conditions and connection for it to take place.

The more I think about it, the more it make sense, that to access this delicate yet powerful state of living, prayer is the first step.

I lead an intimate mentorship program for type A people (Leaders, Corporates, Conscious Busines Owners) who are interested in mastering being in the flow in the realms of love, sex and genius.

We meet every week.

I help Type A Hippies to get into flow in all three realms of Love, Sex and Genius.