Image by Rolando Morales Photography
3 weeks ago I began to receive channeled messages from a group of highly evolved beings called the “Council of Light.”
This is what they have to say about sex.
We would like to speak to you about sexual relating. It is an area of confusion, distortion and disharmony for many humans because it represents the convergence of polarities, especially in the case of male/female relations. It is easiest for you to speak from this perspective because your life experience is as a heterosexual woman, although much of what we will say will apply to others with varying sexual orientations and genders.
Firstly, we would wish for you to approach the arena of sex with far greater sensitivity, tenderness and focus on respect and consent. Because of the human history of sexual violation, most women are accustomed to experiencing pain and to not voicing what they do and do not like. They may not even notice or be aware of what they want. This is the result of many lifetimes of being violated without consequence. Women have grown, collectively, to accept that violation goes along with sex.
In order to shift this cellular belief, there must be a conscious focus on changing behaviour. For example, for both partners, but especially men, to proceed slowly at first. Ask your partner “do you like when I do this?” or “how does this feel?” or “what do you want now?”
Even answering these simple questions will likely be difficult for many women. They may even react with irritation as they realize that they are unskilled at knowing what they do and do not like. They may at first seem to prefer the normal way of being available for what comes their way, even if it’s painful or unpleasant.
If the sexual encounter is too strong and fast, it will be even more difficult for the woman to express her voice, as she might be overwhelmed by the experienced to process and find words to say what she does or doesn’t want. This is why it is important to start slowly and tenderly at first.
Once trust is developed and you have grown to understand eachother’s bodies and developed skill with pleasuring eachother, then you can expand into all expressions of sexuality, but we would recommend, through our observation that you start slowly.
Next, we would wish for you to understand the healing aspect of sexuality. Again, because of the long history of abuse of sexuality, most humans carry energetic and emotional wounding around their sexual selves. This means that they are not coming to the bedroom whole and healed. They are bringing their wounds. They are bringing their ancestral and past-life pain. They are bringing significant patterning of their consciousness: belief-systems, insecurities, fears.
All of these, until addressed, will naturally surface through the sexual encounter. Therefore, it makes sense to take this into consideration and to know that the sexual experience is likely to either reinforce these distorted perceptions, deepening the wounds, or to create an opening for healing.
If you are choosing to engage in sex, become a sexual healer. If you do not become a sexual healer, you are likely, by default to become a sexual wound-er! Become a sexual healer, first through your intention to hold a space of love for the other person. Hold your intention to care about them. Desire wellness for them.
From that intention, and with the above focus on respect and consent, you can begin to explore how you are guided to move and share.
You will also have your own self-awareness of how your wounding might unexpectedly surface. In those moments, it is good to pause, breathe, feel and to tell your partner what is happening for you: “I am feeling overwhelmed…or, I just had a wave of sadness come up…I feel tender in my heart.” Continue to focus on the sensations of emotions in your body with breath, letting the energy move through you. Bringing your consciousness to old wounds, without judgment, will prove to be healing. This is especially true if you give your full attention to what is surfacing, without fear of not performing or of taking up space for your own processing.
This is why understanding that sex is healing, is a helpful attitude to adopt.
Many of the ideas about sexuality that we have come from images and scenes from movies, that show nothing but passion and pleasure. But this is simply not the reality of sexuality. Sexuality is relating to our most sensitive aspects, our essential, energetic self. When this self is touched, there is an alchemy, an energetic shift. This energetic shift can involve electric releases of kundalini, tears, surfacing of suppressed memories, anger, fear, hysterical laughter and other unexpected expressions that are released as the energies shift. None of these are shown in hollywood movies, and so they can be considered weird or shameful when they arise naturally. And therefore, they are often suppressed rather than allowed.
Sex is the most commonplace form of energy healing…however, most do not realize that they are energy healers. The alchemical process of sex, can be used intentionally towards whatever aim you have creatively. Bring it to the bedroom.
Karen: “How? What does that mean?”
It means, sexual relating is creative. When you have a creative partner, you can bring your intentions into the act of love-making. You may set an intention to complete your book. Or you may wish to integrate an insight you had about your character. You may wish to embody a new trait that you are stepping into. You can bring any authentic desire to the bedroom and amplify its creative power through your act of love-making. You may discover different movements, sounds or expressions that want to arise. You may feel a desire to ask for something that you typically don’t think of. Bringing a creative intention to your love-making will make the entire process more creative.
This is the third aspect of sex that we wish to speak to, it’s creative potential. This is a potential that has been grossly underutilized and seen in it’s least subtle, most obvious form, of being a forum to create another human life. This physical creativity is also a metaphor for the creative potential of sex.
Sex provides a forum where you can interplay directly with the most essential energies of another being. In the exchange you receive from them many of their energetic gifts, intelligence and consciousness. Your energies merge and the stirring together creates new possibilities for harmonizing. If you have a problem you can’t solve, bring it to your next sexual encounter and you will likely emerge with a new perspective that will help you move into your next steps.
You might even say that sex provides an outlet for creativity to flow. If there is some aspect of your life where there is stagnancy, sex is likely to resolve it.
First, sex must be treated with respect and sensitivity. Second, it must be recognized as healing. Third, it must be seen as creative. In that order. When you engage with sex with respect, healing and creativity, you will open up new worlds of creation. Find a partner who will share in these values with you.
This is a chapter from the book that they are transmitting to me. The working title is: “Awaken to Your Starseed Mission”
I was struck by the insight of how deeply embedded violation is into the collective mindset of women and men, even if they do not consider themselves ever to have actually been violated or to have violated.
So many women have sex when they don’t want to. And they don’t want to have sex because they don’t really enjoy sex. And they don’t really enjoy sex because they don’t let their partner know that what they are doing isn’t actually pleasurable.
And they don’t let their partner know what is and isn’t pleasurable because they are pickled in the collective psyche of violation.
This is made obvious to me in conversations with many of my women friends about the kind of sex that they are having.
Like my friend who was recently slapped across the face during sex.
Or who was taken without care and hurt afterwards.
Or the many, many women who don’t have g-spot orgasms and have never ejaculated.
People tell me this stuff…I’m not sure if that’s normal, or just me, in any case, I know quite a bit about the kind of sex that people are having…I also know about the kind of sex that I have had.
In general, I would say, most men aren’t great lovers. If they are, it’s because they have really worked at it. They have experimented and been very attentive to their lover. They have had a strong desire to please her. In the best cases, they have studied anatomy, read books and even taken courses.
Once I had a lover who gave me wonderful oral sex. I told him, “You need to teach this to men, over all of the world, everywhere.”
He said: “I can’t.”
I asked him, “Why not? Of course you can.”
His response saddened me greatly. “I can’t. Because I have sat in on countless conversations with men about sex with their wives and girlfriends. And I know that they don’t care. In order to do what I just did, it’s a matter of attitude, a deep desire to please the woman. Most men just don’t care that much. There is no way that I can teach them to care if they don’t.”
Even the men that do care, often don’t end up becoming that skilled in bed because the women that they are with are not giving them real feedback about what pleases them or not. In addition, sexual shame and toxic masculinity keeps them from seeking outside resources that would help them to become very skilled.
Let’s start to solve this problem here and now. Here’s a great free video course and paid program: https://kimanami.com/sexual-mastery-for-men-salon/
It is important to note that a very significant part counter-part to developing the ability to opening and pleasure a woman, is having the emotional and energetic integrity to hold that space where she can surrender. It’s even worse for a man to be skilled with the physical aspects of love-making, but to lack the integrity to hold the woman in the deep opening that takes place for her.
"Behind every great woman is a man on his knees, giving her everything he's got." - Kim Anami
I shared the above channeled chapter from the Council of Light with a male friend of mine who I consider to be very evolved as a sexual being, and as a human in general. You might even call him a sexual healer, although I don’t think he would openly identify that way.
This is what he wrote in response:
“So true! There was the sexual revolution in the 60’s and with this came a push for women to express their own desires in the bedroom. Anais Nin was a very celebrated author who pushed the boundaries of erotica with her published works. I feel that many women today are empowered to speak their minds to their sexual partners, but I am not sure if it is the majority.
Also, what needs to shift is men’s attitude toward women about sex. As you mentioned, I too feel that women have been objectified and abused by men for millennia. This is what has created a wounded psychic energy between the sexes and this has also created a fear towards men, from women. Until that negative stigma attached to men has shifted to a place of trust- on the collective consciousness of women, it will continue to be challenging for women to collectively feel completely comfortable to express their sexual desires openly.
Until men learn to understand the plight of the woman, her history and revere her as the goddess that she is, there will continue to be violence and abuse perpetuated against them.”
This last sentence seems to be of the essence to me.
Can men truly put themselves in the shoes of women?
What new attitudes and behaviours will arise when they do?
Then, my friend Cheryl blew my mind…
It’s simple, even obvious, but I had never thought of it before.
I meet Cheryl Davidson every week for a counseling session. She is sensitive, evolved and intuitive genius. She is an amazing healer and has helped me a lot.
If you are highly sensitive, intuitive and creative and you need help healing deeply engrained childhood or ancestral patterns, she is your gal. (You can email her at email@example.com)
She was sharing an insight she’d had, that in order to heal our relationship with the earth, that we must first heal violence against women. The abuse of the earth, the feminine, is just another reflection of our collective attitudes against women.
If we want to heal the earth, we need to heal the collective wound of abuse of women.
It makes perfect sense to me.
The men who I know have addressed this abuse in their own psyche, are not only the most attentive lovers, but they are also guardians of the earth. They pick up trash. They honor women.
I didn’t realize how deeply this collective wound was effecting me until a recent out of body experience…
Recently, during a private medicine ceremony, I left my body. My mind melted into nothingness and my spirit vacated my physical self. “Karen” left the building.
I believe that this was a manifestation of a life-long desire that I have had to not be here. No matter how good my life is, how joyful or full of love, I still have this sense of not wanting to be a human on the earth-plane.
I was pulled to the other side and was gone from 3D reality.
The shaman that I was working with was skilled and was doing everything he could to get me to come back into my body.
My body was curled up in a fetal position and straining to breathe.
He took a giant smokey quartz crystal and placed it on my lower abdomen, just above the pubic bone, pressing it into me deeply.
I felt my ‘self,’ spirit and mind, being sucked back into physical reality. The pain was excruciating. It was as if I was feeling all of the violent murders, rapes and horrors done to women over all time.
I screamed “No! Stop!” and I glared at the shaman.
I did not want to be in my body. There was no way one human could possibly contain this much pain and terror.
And then, my body was screaming bloody murder. I became screaming. I could not stop screaming. Terrible, horrified screams. It sounded like I was being killed.
In my personal life I have not lived this type of horror. I have experienced many more subtle versions of violation and done years of my inner work to heal my own signatures of abuse.
But in this case, I believe I was embodying the collective pain of centuries of women who have been raped, murdered and abused in all manner of horrific ways. That’s what it felt like.
I don’t know if I have been carrying this collective wound in my pain body for my entire life, or if it’s just something that I am working through now, out of readiness. But I do know that I have long had a feeling of not wanting to be here, and that in that ceremony, I was given an out.
I fought to come back to the physical plane, and when I did, I was greeted with an unbearable pain that horrified me.
It’s not just me.
Obviously, there is a the #metoo movement and the global climate crisis that are indicating a need to address this collective wound.
But I’m also seeing this arise in my work with women.
It’s why I have switched my focus to working with women in awakening. I changed my weekly Flow Catalyst group, to a women’s circle.
I recently started offering channeled readings from The Council of Light and energy healing sessions. Several of the young women I worked with were healing ancestral and current-life trauma related to rape.
All of this collides to indicate to me a deep collective readiness to address these wounds.
What now? IF you are called to heal…
If you are called to heal, there are many pathways.
I don’t pretend to know which one might be right for you. But I do have access to a lot of great resources. Feel free to email me with a bit about what is going on for you and I will do my best to point you in the direction of a good resource. firstname.lastname@example.org
If you are a woman, I offer a weekly women’s circle that is all about embodiment and truth-telling. Just being in our bodies and speaking our truth is hugely healing and an important step.
If you are a man, I know some amazing men doing healing work for men. Please email me: email@example.com
If we are to embody our potential as creators and to express our essential selves fully, it will be because we healed our sexual conditioning.
I believe a big part of healing is attitude and willingness. “We can do this. We are willing. It is time. Nothing is stopping us. Let’s do it.”
"We can do this. We are willing. It is time. Nothing is stopping us. Let's do it."
I help Women in Awakening to get into flow and become full-force creators.
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