Love, Sex and Genius. Here’s how I see it…
As Leaders, If we’re not in the flow, we are setting a funky example.
We are designed to be in Flow in all 3 realms of Love, Sex and Genius.
And just to be clear, by Love, I mean that you were born with the innate desire and ability to have deeply loving and intimate connections with people.
By Sex, I mean that you were born with an innate desire and ability to express sensual aliveness through acts of communion with yourself, others and all of life.
And by Genius I mean…that you were born with an innate passion, gift and contribution that only you can express.
The trouble is…
Somewhere along the line, the flow of your love, sexuality and genius may have gone stagnant or out of alignment in some way.
And when one of these realms is out of the flow, it has a direct impact on the other two. It stops the flow of creativity and will keep you in a state of stagnation.
And that lack of alignment, will make you unhappy, dissatisfied, and stressed…possibly even unhealthy. 🙁
Have you noticed that?
That when you are fully expressing your creative genius, but you’re having trouble in the realm of love, your creative fruits don’t taste as sweet.
Or that, when you have a great, loving connection in your relationship, but no sexual aliveness, that you lack creative ‘heat’ and you yearn for more?
Or that when your sensuality and love relationships are flowing, but you aren’t expressing your creative genius, that after awhile you feel like something is missing?
In the past 8 years of helping leaders to live and leverage their Genius through their work, I witnessed this. Oftentimes what was holding someone back in their Genius was actually that they were disempowered in their relationship. OR that they weren’t in the flow in their sensuality/sexuality.
I created this diagram to show how Love, Sex and Genius are connected:
It begins in the milieu of Love and Sex…where we are able to Commune with our environment, our beloved, or our business partner. We merge energies. We become no longer two but one. We find Oneness.
From this state of Communion we enter into Creativity. Genius emerges. Something is emerging, new. It is a discovery. It is magical.
And then, Genius combines with Love, bringing our creativity naturally out into the world as a Contribution. We share. The abundance that was created in the act of communing and creating inevitably becomes a contribution.
Commune. Create. Contribute.
It’s not just that we’re designed to be in flow in the realms of Love, Sex and Genius…it’s how the process of creativity works.
When you are in flow, you move freely through the cycle of Communing with the elements and people around you, Creating in your Genius and then Contributing with love.
This is not only your personal flow that we’re talking about but being in the flow of all of Life itself.
When you’re in flow with Life, life is able to Commune with you, showing you the most fruitful and true direction of your Creativity, and guiding you to Contribute in ways that you wouldn’t have dared conceive.
Life is having its way with you!
You experience POWER moving through you. You are easily expressing LOVE. You are sensually alive. You are surrendered.
When you’re in flow, you know it.
The opposite is also true. When you’re not in flow, you feel it. You know it. And you probably don’t like it.
Being out of the flow makes us feel less alive. We feel dull. We feel dissatisfied. We are uncomfortable. Something feels off. Something IS off!
Worse yet, if as a Leader we’re out of flow in one of these areas…it is palpable to those in our sphere of influence.
They may not be able to put a finger on what is ‘off’ but they sense the ‘offness’ in our vibe.
In the best case scenario, our lack of flow is perceived as a slight ‘offness’. In the worst case, our distorted flow results in an abuse of power.
Think of the leader, Bikram Choudhury, creator of Bikram hot-yoga and a 60-million dollar yoga empire. His excess state in the realm of Sex had him abusing power. He sexually abused many of his closest followers which ultimately cost him his reputation, his entire empire and millions of dollars.
Or the countless Coaches and Mentors who aren’t communing enough in the realms of Love and Sex to feel nourished in their body and spirit. The result is they get burnt -out.
No matter how inspiring the message of their genius is, what they are really teaching via their example is what it looks like to run their bodies into the ground in the name of ambition.
Or the many women in an excess state of Love who, focusing on their loved-ones for years, end up with a body angry from neglect. They have so become attuned to others, that they have forgotten how to commune sensually with themselves. For them, learning how to feel
Or the teacher who hasn’t yet totally landed in what their unique genius is, and as a result abuses their own gifts and talents by not fully honouring them.
This can play out as under-charging, and forcing themselves to work in ways that are detrimental to their nature, by failing to create a context within which their genius can thrive.
Take a moment to self-assess.
Read through the tables below to get a sense of the realms in which you are in a state of stagnation or excess of flow. Be gentle with yourself. And do your best to be honest.
Whatever stagnation or excesses that you discover may be difficult to acknowledge at first, but you will be so grateful when you get back into the flow as a result of having this awareness!
A LEADER’S LACK OF ALIGNMENT IN THE REALM OF LOVE MANIFESTS AS…
INNER SIGNS AND SYMPTOMS OF LACK OF LOVE
– unable to connect to their emotions
– emotionally numb
– Lonely and isolated.
– Stuck in their head.
– That their loved ones aren’t really close to them.
– Disconnected from all of Life.
– Lack of appreciation and joy for what life brings.
– Dissatisfied in their personal relationships.
– That they aren’t loved enough and don’t have the quality of friendships, family or intimate relationships they desire.
– That they aren’t oozing love.
– Hardened and cold.
INNER SIGNS AND SYMPTOMS OF EXCESS LOVE
– Feeling a lack of personal identity from being so absorbed in communion. Who am I?
– Unable to see their value apart from connection to others.
– Not knowing what they want or need because they are so attuned to others’ wants and needs.
OUTER SIGNS AND SYMPTOMS OF LACK OF LOVE
– Their marketing copy has a distinctive lack of warmth and connection.
– Offerings are not reflective of their clients direct needs and so are not selling as well.
– Leader experiences being disconnected from their clients. Clients do not feel connected to leader.
– Program Cancellations, refund requests, dive in income.
– Low sales resulting from disconnection
OUTER SIGNS AND SYMPTOMS OF EXCESS LOVE
– Lack of productivity due to prioritizing relationships. Relationships become the sole focus and interfere with creativity and contribution.
– Lack of time and space devoted to personal time for creative expression.
– Business projects aren’t moving forward because relationships are absorbing all of their focus.
A LEADER’S LACK OF ALIGNMENT IN THE REALM OF SEX MANIFESTS AS…
INNER SIGNS AND SYMPTOMS OF LACK OF SEX
– Stressed and tense, having difficulty relaxing.
– Disconnected from their body
– Sexually frustrated.
– Not feeling sexy or sexual.
– Old inside and out (regardless of their actual age)
– Anxious and overwhelmed.
– Low libido. Disinterested in communing sexually with others.
– Trapped in unhealthy patterns of shame and pain from unresolved sexual conditioning and trauma.
– Dull, not alive.
– Lacking lifeforce
INNER SIGNS AND SYMPTOMS OF EXCESS SEX
– Obsessive thinking about sex (or having sex) to the point of total absorption or distraction from creative contribution.
– Over-indulgence in the sensual realms (eating, baths, sex, basking in nature) to the degree that communing never enters into the creative, or contribution phases.
– Dealing with too much sexual energy to the point of feeling like they will explode.
OUTER SIGNS AND SYMPTOMS OF LACK OF SEX
– Full schedule that doesn’t allow time for ‘communing’ in the senses. Busy-ness that leads to being tired, burnt-out, exhausted.
– Drawn to substances to replace the sense of ‘communing’…marijuana, alcohol, TV, Facebook, food, etc.
– Lack of innovation in business. Doing the same-old, same-old without deepening the understanding and the creativity.
– Suppressed sexuality comes out sideways in harmful sexual behaviours, such as affairs, sexual innuendos, harassment, etc.
– Marketing and sales seem flat, lifeless, lacking the ‘fire’ or ‘heat’ that draws new clients in.
OUTER SIGNS AND SYMPTOMS OF EXCESS SEX
– There’s no energy conserved for creativity and contribution. Lack of focus on business results in a nose-dive in income, and productivity.
A LEADER’S LACK OF ALIGNMENT IN THE REALM OF GENIUS MANIFESTS AS…
INNER SIGNS AND SYMPTOMS OF LACK OF GENIUS
– Unclear about their place in the world.
– Not unique
– Confused about who they are and what to be doing.
– Lacking motivation to work and make money.
– Stuck in boredom.
– Frustrated with doing work they don’t enjoy.
– Concerned that they will live their whole life without ever feeling that they’d done something worthwhile.
– that they aren’t contributing
– That they aren’t using their Gifts and Abilities to their full capacity.
INNER SIGNS AND SYMPTOMS OF EXCESS GENIUS
– Inflated sense of self and personal power. Lack of humility.
– Unable to ‘turn off’. The focus on their work becomes obsessive, keeping them up at night, occupying their thoughts.
– Lack of time spent enjoying the simple pleasures of love and sensuality.
OUTER SIGNS AND SYMPTOMS OF LACK OF GENIUS
– Struggling in their sales and marketing because it’s not coming from their innate, natural Genius.
– Stunted in their business growth
– Business lacks a unique Point of View and therefore, suffers from having competitors and not standing out.
– Lack of clarity about your niche.
– Lack of clarity about the underlying value of your offerings that makes the investment worthwhile. Undercharging.
OUTER SIGNS AND SYMPTOMS OF EXCESS GENIUS
– Estranged friends or loved ones due to a lack of prioritizing their connections.
– Business and ‘life purpose’ becomes all-consuming.
– Using people. Relationships become transactional and every connection is aimed at it’s purposefulness/usefulness. – Loved ones begin to feel like their sole value is in what they can do to enhance your mission, and not inherently valuable and worthy of your time on their own.
– Inflated value. Over-charging to the point of excess.
– Excess spending and buying beyond ones true needs and desires.
– Well-developed gifts and genius is used for personal gain rather than for it’s intended use, which is to serve others.
OK, so there you are.
Hopefully you were able to get a sense of where you tend to go out of flow.
How can you get into the flow?
Hmmmm…well, where to start.
My entire body of work and pretty much everything I do is an answer to this question.
It’s why I don’t have a schedule.
It’s the reason I help people discover their genius.
It’s why I do human design readings.
It’s why I practice yoga and dance daily.
There are many ways to get into the flow with life, no matter where you’re currently stuck in stagnation or buzzing with excess.
Stick with me awhile
Read my articles, enjoy the videos I post, check out my website and you’ll find a lot of flow-inducing resources at your fingertips.
To start, you might love the Human Design Free School
Human Design is a system that provides custom-to-you instructions about how you are suited to navigate your daily choices so that you align with the flow of life.
Awhile back I created a 6- part series of educational videos designed to give you the most important information about your design that you need to get started. It’s the most content-rich free resource on Human Design that I’ve seen in existence
If you really want to learn about your design, you can book a 1-1 Human Design Package with me
Human Design was my gateway into flow. When I said “F$@% it!” and decided to surrender to the flow…what I actually devoted myself to initially was faithfully following the navigational instructions of my design.
This taught me a whole new way to operate in harmony with life. It made things like leaving my relationship, selling all of my belongings and moving to Mexico seem like the simple and obvious next steps.
Human Design taught me how to receive the communications that the Flow of Life was giving me. It showed me the practical “how-to” of surrender. It taught me to trust.
My trust is so great now. I rarely experience the survival-level fears that used to plague me and drive me into action.
1-1 Intimate Coaching
And if you’re really keen, hard-core and ready for some bold changes, then check out my 1-1 Intimate Coaching
That’s a good place to start. If we haven’t met yet, feel free to send me an email and introduce yourself. I’d love to hear about who you are and anything you want to share from your self-assessment.
I’m always learning more about the flow of love, sex and genius.